Mini-me’s not gonna take it anymore!
•August 3, 2008 • No Comments
Mini-Me suing ex-girlfriend Ranae Shrider
Verne Troyer aka Mini-Me is suing his ex-girlfriend and sex tape partner Ranae Shrider, claiming the 22-year-old beat the hell out of him. In official terms, Troyer is accusing Shrider of “intentional infliction of emotional distress and battery.” The little guy’s lawyer, Ed McPherson, told TMZ:
“When you pick up a 2′8″ human being and throw him to the floor, it hurts.”
In the lawsuit, Troyer basically says the chick terrorized him, once picked the lock to his bedroom door, pushing away a 100 pound scooter that was used to block the door, and then throwing him to the floor Troyer claims his damages from all that Schrider did to him exceed $20 million. (Source)
Good luck to Verne getting any of that $20 million from his ex. That chick was so broke, she was willing to sell a video of herself getting violated by a fetus. At this point, Verne would have better luck getting money out of an IndyMac bank. If Verne really wants to make millions of dollars, there’s only one way other no-talents in Hollywood are doing it these days: getting pregnant.
Nicholas Cage is better than you!
•August 3, 2008 • No Comments
Nicolas Cage owns a castle
Nicolas Cage’s Eighteenth-century Midford Castle, near Bath in Somerset, Englan. The castle grounds stretch 59 acres.
NOTE: “. . . is better than you” is a Friday feature showcasing multi-million dollar celebrity homes in the hopes of generating feelings of jealousy, hatred, and animosity towards said celebrity. When you get down to the entertainment-dollar-spending core of it, you helped buy that home. Sucker!
Hayden Panettiere’s Striptease - Milo Ventimiglia Shocked, Gay?
•July 30, 2008 • No Comments
Yea. You read that title right.
Hayden Panettiere performed a striptease for her boyfriend, Milo Ventimiglia, on his 31st birthday. She ripped off her custom-made Heroe’s cheerleader outfit to reveal sexy red lingerie - I’m going to need a minute.
Moving on, according to Digital Spy,
“Hayden gave Milo an unforgettable birthday surprise by morphing from her bouncy cheerleader character in Heroes to a bump-and-grind striptease.
“She asked the wardrobe girls to make her a Velcro-lined version of the outfit she wears on the show. As she sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to Milo in front of cast and crew during lunch she ripped off the costume to show off her sexy red lingerie. Milo’s face went bright red.”
Hayden Panettiere performing a strip show… in front of the cast and crew of Heroes… for a seemingly gay guy’s birthday? Life is just unfair. Extremely unfair. Any single men looking to experiment?
If you need an imagination starter… check out the Hayden Panettiere upskirt.
Why so Serious???
•July 30, 2008 • No Comments
Custom shoe-painter SweatShop Clothing sent me the link to a pair of Heath Ledger Joker shoes he made for some chick in New Zealand that wanted them to wear to the movie or something. Here they are. Hit the jump to see a ton of pictures, including several of the painting process. Great job SweatShop. Now how about some polos, but instead of a crocodile or guy on horseback, a little “Why so serious?” Joker face. Oh hell yes. Just let me know if you need any help in the factory, I’ll send the neighbor’s kids right over.
Hit it for a ton more, and a link to the artist’s Myspace if you want something similar.
P.S. Miss you Heath.
Kids Dig Up Corpse To Make Skull Bong
•July 30, 2008 • No Comments
Wow, just wow. Kevin Wade and Mathew Richard, two 17-year olds from Houston, Texas, were recently arrested for abusing a corpse. They didn’t try to have sex with it, but they did remove the skull to make a bong.
Police were interviewing Jones about the debit card fraud when he told them about the grave theft.Asked why Jones would volunteer the information police sergeant John Chomiak said: ‘We can only speculate and guess to what goes on in the criminal mind.’
Come on sergeant, the kids didn’t mastermind a bank heist, they dug up a corpse to make a bong. I’m pretty confident there isn’t shit going on in their heads.
Madonna’s rep says photo was ‘touched up’
•July 30, 2008 • No Comments
Madonna’s publicist is claiming the pictures of Madonna looking like emaciated shit were doctored. She says Madonna was looking as radiant as ever just days before. And by radiant I mean a fucking mutant. People reports:
“I just think the photographer got a bad shot of her or it was touched up to make her look bad,” says her rep Liz Rosenberg. “I saw Madonna two days before at her rehearsal and she looked amazing – glowing skin and working really hard on her show.”
Hmm, if Madonna’s rep says she looked amazing just two days earlier, what the hell happened? I mean, besides the obvious which is Madonna died, and they’re keeping her alive ala Weekend at Bernie’s. Hey, it works for the Olsen twins…
Cuil…. nee !! nie die goed wat by jou hond se mond af hang nie..
•July 30, 2008 • No Comments
Well if you haven’t heard there’s a new search engine that just moved in down the block and it’s taunting the most indexed web pages (120 billion, 3x more than others) and a new way to display search results. From the company:
Cuil (pronounced COOL) provides organized and relevant results based on Web page content analysis. The search engine goes beyond today’s search techniques of link analysis and traffic ranking to analyze the context of each page and the concepts behind each query. It then organizes similar search results into groups and sorts them by category.
And, according to the Huffington Post, people have been checking it out.
This morning the Google competitor started by former Google employees topped Google Trends. This means that people were using Google to find it’s spunky new competitor. Misspellings of Cuil and Cuil’s founder, Anna Paterson, were also top searches. Google may have been discouraged by this until they see ‘Hot Trend’ number 35, ‘cuil sucks.’
Personally, I don’t know if Cuil sucks or not because I’ve always been an Askjeeves kind of guy. Ha, did I just say that out loud? What I meant to say was The Zefslang Writer doesn’t use search engines, the information comes to him. I just concentrate real hard on what I need aaaaaaand….CH34P V1@GR@. Shit, ladies I swear…
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Britney Spears spending $22,000/month to stop looking perpetually pregnant
•July 30, 2008 • No Comments
Britney Spears is dropping a ton of coin to, scientifically speaking, tighten that ass up. She’s spending roughly $22 grand a month on a personal trainer, nutritionist and dance choreographer. Britney was getting sick of the constant pregnancy rumors, so she decided to do something about it that, surprisingly, didn’t involve flashing her vagina at a Whopper. Wow, she has changed. The Daily Mail reports:
She has also taken on some of Victoria Beckham’s diet tips, eating plenty of steamed fish and snacking on edamame beans. Britney also endures intensive work-outs with Pussycat Dolls’ personal trainer James Van Daff as well as three-hour dance classes six times a week.
The source added: ‘Britney piled on a lot of weight earlier this year. She was so stressed about the custody case and her medication for her bipolar disorder also made her put on weight. She was tired of being flabby and wanted to do something about it.’
Now, says the insider: ‘Britney is so proud of herself because her ab muscles are back. She’s feeling better than she has in ages.’
See? This is exactly what I tell women while I’m waiting in line at Starbucks. If you’re serious about losing weight, just fork over $20 G’s a month. It’s that simple. Otherwise, you should probably let me have your whipped cream, or else your husband will sleep with his secretary. What can I say? I’m an inspiration.
NOTE: Photos link to Britney bikini post that my penis is still trying to sort out.
